A Song

Today I wrote a song.  I real song.  With three verses, and a chorus, and chords, and a melody.  I've never written a song before, so it's exciting in itself.  But it's so much more to me than a song.  It's a reminder.  I reminder of what I'm capable of.

My sister and I were talking today about how she loves to sing, but she wishes she could play an instrument and write music.  I recently started to learn to play the ukulele and I've thought about trying to write a song, but I didn't think I could do it.  But after talking to my sister today, I thought, "I think I'm going to try."

And I did it.  It's not a musical masterpiece by any means, but it's a song.  And it reminded me that I can do anything I put my mind to.  That am I the only person standing in the way of my dreams.

So often I don't take chances because I'm afraid that I'm going to fail.  But I never fail. Not really.  Sometimes it takes longer than I would like to succeed, or the outcome isn't exactly what I had hoped for.  But I never fail.  We as people are capable of so much.  All it takes is the courage to take a risk.  And accept that you may fall flat on your face a few times on the path to success.

And today a wrote a song.  A small victory.  A small triumph.  A small success.  

The Little Things

42 days in Oregon, eight plus jobs applied for, endless moments spent on craigslist searching for new opportunities, and I'm still unemployed.  This is it.  Adulthood.  And once again I'm faced with the realization that nothing will ever turn out exactly the way I thought it would.

So in these moments of doubt and frustration, I find myself clinging to the little things. Because lets face it, it's the little things in life that really matter.  That make it worth living. And right now, that's all I've got.

Little things like a smile from my nephew, ending the day with a drink and plenty of laughter with my sister and brother-in-law, chopping all my hair off and seeing a new me underneath, learning a new song on my ukulele, laying in the grass in Lithia Park and watching the first leaves of fall land all around me.

These are the things that keep me going.  That remind me how lucky I am, even though I don't have everything I want just yet.

So here's to the little things!  And hoping that the big things will fall into place before too long....

An Introduction

“Little garden how do I make your flowers grow?
When I already do everything that I know.
I bring you sunshine and I bring you rain, but still you refrain
All the other gardens are so full of flowers

They're so colourful yet I spend all these hours,

Trying to make you as beautiful as them, but still you refrain.”

                                            “Little Red” –Kate Nash

Bravo Kate Nash.  Bravo.  I’ve listened to this song dozens of times and have always loved it but I never looked beyond the literal meaning of these lyrics.  Not until I found myself smack dap in the middle of the terrifying reality of being a twenty-something college grad trying to find her place in the world. 

A little about me.  My name is Ruby. [Insert clever remark about my name involving a song reference, or how I’m a gem.  Don’t worry, I’ve heard them all ;) ]  I’m 23 years old and almost a month ago I moved to Oregon after spending my entire life living in the stifling grasp of Kansas.  Don’t get me wrong, there are some good things about Kansas and I’m blessed to have had some really amazing people in my life during those 23 years.  But it’s not exactly the land of opportunity for a dreamer like me. 

So I set off to Oregon to chase my dreams.  There’s only one problem……I have no idea what I’m doing.  But as terrifying as it is, there’s something refreshing about it.  A clean slate.  A fresh start.  Endless possibilities.  Now I just need to figure out where to begin.  I have no idea where this journey will take me but I hope someday I can look back and describe my life with a different set of lyrics:

“This little girl, she grew up and moved away and she,  

She lived her life full of risk and full of play and she,

She lived her life with so much to say,
And her flowers they grow more beautiful every day.”